Singing In The Rain

Both President Obama and Governor Romney are awful singers beyond tears.  In the case of the President, he was mercifully short.  Governor Romney did a whole song.  The dog started acting like a wolf howling at the moon.  The parakeet fainted and fell off it's perch.  We had to give the poor bird pecker to pecker resuscitation.  For the sake of the Republic and our beloved pets, all campaigners must resist any temptation to sing.  Pound your chest, cover up your sexual picadillos, wildly exaggerate your accomplishments, squander millions flacking your virtues and tickling your egos.  But no more singing.

South Carolina Primary

Thank you Jon Huntsman for your timely and classy exit and your endorsement of Mitt Romney.  We may see a Pratt in The White House yet.

To Newt Get-rich, Rick Sanctimonious, Ronum Paulum and Rick The Eyes of Texas:  You should put the good of the county over your silly egos and follow Huntsman out the exit.

To South Carolina Tea Partiers and Evangelicals:  Give up gay bashing and the silly hope of reversing Roe vs. Wade.  Let go of your guns and religion for a minute and get on board with the only conservative that can go toe to toe with Obama.  That would be Mitt Romney, the guy who can get our economy back to "going concern" status.  Stop worrying that the Mormons will convert all of the people who go to your mega churches.  The Mormons already have all the converts they can cope with.

As for me and my house, we are going to serve the Lord and go with a winner.

Crap-out Club

Hearty congratulations to Michele Bachman as she becomes the latest member of the "crap-out" club.  Spray your TV set with a little room deoderizer and you'll hardly know she's gone.  She's in good company with Herman Cain, who was the first to "crap out."  Sarah Palin and Donald Trump are honorary members only,  since they never "crapped in."  They chose the road more traveled and "cashed in" instead.  The "crap-out" club will soon include Rick Perry, Jon Huntsman and Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum, leaving Mitt Romney standing triumphantly atop the swirling bowl.  Huntsman and Paul will exit after New Hampshire.  Gingrich and Santorum may hang desperately on through South Carolina before they stop tilting at Romney's mill.  Meanwhile, all of us get to enjoy thousands of hours of CNN boredome as this shabby little drama works its way to a very inevitable conclusion.  White House advisors have laid in a big supply of buttered popcorn, RC's and moon pies but still can't stay awake through this predictable soap opera.

Wake Up Iowa Republicans

Iowa Republicans say you want Obama to be a one term president. Tomorrow is your chance. Throw your weight and your votes behind the only Republican who can beat Obama. Yes, that would be Mitt Romney. Your other choices are like flatulating at the dinner table, it may feel good at the moment, but let a few seconds go by and it begins to stink just like Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich and Michelle Bachman, the might temporally feel good to those who cling to their guns and religion, but they sure do stink to all the rest of us. Come on Iowa Republicans this is your chance to stand up for America! Seize the day! Go with Mitt, and he will take care of Obama for you!

Anatomy Advice

Gingrich and Santorum have their knickers so twisted they're going to choke themselves sterile whining about Romney's negative ads.  

Go Mitt.