Political Landscape

After a lengthy absence, the Republican Presidential spectacle has driven me back to my Political Pringles Blog.

Most of you have seen the circus trick of a small car being driven into the ring followed by a dozen clowns emerging from the tiny car. This is a great metaphor for the Republican presidential candidates.

Memo to the Republican candidates:
It is high time that you clowns began talking about what you are for. You're headed to oblivion opposing marriage equality, immigration reform and equal pay for women. Whether you like Hillary or not, she is open about what she is for. She is for affordable health care. She is for immigration reform. She is for marriage equality. She is for equal pay for equal work for women. She is for increasing the minimum wage. She is pro choice. Unless Republicans start hitting some positive notes you will be consigned to the company of nattering nabobs of negativism and not a single one of you will have the slightest chance of being President.

State of Florida Vs. George Zimmerman

The interminable hullabaloo and mindlessly boring commentary on the Zimmerman trial has completely overlooked the real culprit in this cable news fiasco. The culprit is the jackass judge that allowed TV cameras to turn the trial into a showboating circus. The founders of our judicial system wisely provided for trials to be public. This was to prevent the kind of star chamber proceedings which had afflicted European justice. The founders never intended for court room proceedings to have a worldwide audience motivating lawyers yearning for fifteen months of fame. We remember with fondness the no-nonsense federal judge who refused to turn his courtroom into a circus for the trial of Timothy McVeigh who bombed the federal building in Oklahoma City. The trial lasted a few days, the jury convicted McVeigh, and recommended the death penalty. McVeigh was executed in due course and neither the judge nor the lawyers involved in the trial became celebrities or public figures, nor did the jurors. And none of them ever gave TV interviews or wrote a book. Certainly, the press should have liberal access to courtrooms, especially when there is widespread public interest in the proceedings. TV cameras should never be allowed because of their profoundly disruptive influence on a 'tried and true' judicial system, which otherwise is dependable and elegant. Shame on judges who can't resist the blinking red light.
Your friend,
Donnie Carson

Marriage Equality At Last

This week the Supreme Court hears oral arguments on two cases that focus the court on the issue of marriage equality. First is a case arising in California where same sex marriage was legalized and many marriages took place before a voter initiative amended the California Constitution to outlaw same sex marriage and revoke the marriages of those who had been married in the meantime. The other case arises from the so called Defense of Marriage Act that exempts the Federal Government from recognizing marriages that take place in states where same sex marriage is legal. Both Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act will be invalidated by the Supreme Court due to the protections afforded all citizens under the equal protection and the due process clauses of the Federal Constitution. I predict that these cases will be decided on a six to three vote in the court, with justices Roberts, Kennedy, Breyer, Kagan, Ginsburg and Sotomayor in the majority; justices Alito, Thomas and Scalia will be in the minority. This will not be surprising, as their views are informed by the poems of Genghis Kahn. Remember where you heard this first and be sure to send your congratulations when I prove to be right.

The Religion of Democracy

While our constitution prohibits the establishment of religion, in an overarching way Americans hold a sacramental reverence for our democracy and all its messy aspects. The election of a President is our quadrennial national democratic worship service. The transfer of power and innaugeration of Presidents in all its granduer and simplicity is our national communion service. God bless you and God bless the United States of America.

Gun Safety

No parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend of a first grader can escape being sickened by the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. The shooter killed these babies and ripped their little bodies apart with a military style assault rifle, shooting some of them as many as eleven times. Likewise, no such parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend can escape revulsion at the response of the NRA and its lackies in Congress. The eighteenth century concept of a well regulated militia written into our Constitution has been absurdly interpreted in our day. When the Second Ammendment was adopted, the arms to be kept and borne were single shot muskets. No one then alive could have conceived assault rifles with hundred round clips, bazookas or rocket propelled grenades. One can only hope that our Congress can muster the courage to begin curbing this madness. That some twenty-first century Americans apparently believe they need such weapons to protect themselves against tyrannical govenrment is fantastical in the extreme. I pity such people driven by their paranoia. Let us at least begin an attempt to curb gun violence in our country. Our first graders and kindergarteners require nothing less as do teenagers on our urban streets. God bless America that our good may truly be crowned with brotherhood as we grapple with this great issue.

How Much Longer The Craziness?

Lack of a ban on assault rifles is crazy.  The fact that we track purchases of Sudafed but not ammunition is also crazy.  In the United States we do not have to suffer incidents like the unspeakable tragedy in Aurora, CO.  Western Europeans do not suffer their movie theaters being shot up.  The main reason is European crackpots cannot buy assault rifles.  The hold on our congress exercised by the NRA is crazy.  Let us, in the name of the Aurora victims, man up and ban assault rifles and track ammunition purchases as vigorously as we track purchases of Sudafed.  Then and only then will the Aurora victims not have suffered in vain.

Mitt, Don't Quit Your Day Job

Obama's latest ad featuring your off-key rendition of America The Beautiful proves you should not quit your day job.

Now to the important stuff:

The buzz is you are picking Rob Portman as your running mate. You can't be serious. Another old, white guy? Give me a break. You may have a chance if you pick Marco Rubio. He is young, good looking and a talented speaker. Remember that Eisenhower picked first term senator Richard Nixon as his running mate and while it didn't work out so great for the country, it worked out fine for Eisenhower.

Now, about your damn tax returns:
For goodness sake, release them already. Everyone knows that rich people have more lawyers and accountants than the rest of us. Nobody over fifteen will be surprised that those tax returns contain 50 page schedules detailing tax shelters and income from foreign investments. Yes, Obama and the democrats will try to make hay but this will allow you finally to get the conversation back to the economy. If the tax returns cost you the election (which they will not), that would be better than losing because you don't release them. Do this. The sooner the better and get it behind you. The economy is going to be flacid through November. This is your ticket to The White House. Don't blow it over the silly tax returns. Your campaign has been a royal mess for the last few weeks. But you don't need to wallow in the mess. Get up, hose yourself off and move on like the Christian soldier you are.

And please, no more singing.